lizw: photo of pie crust filled with berries (cooking)
[personal profile] lizw
This was the Kitchen Reader selection for February, chosen by Jules of Stone Soup. It's a mostly-enjoyable memoir of her history with food and the way it has shaped the narrative of her life. I haven't cooked any of the recipes that are included in the book, yet, but they look clear and straightforward; I will probably try the chana masala and some of the salads. In the narrative itself, some of her description of her marriage resonated with me, especially this: "That's how I know we're going to be all right. Because being the person I want to be feels easier when he is around." I've definitely felt that about the strongest of my relationships, and especially about [livejournal.com profile] boxcat. I also liked the fact that she mentions poly and gay friends in a very matter-of-fact way; most food books steer away from anything unconventional. That left me all the more surprised, though, when she said about the stress of preparing for her own marriage, "Getting married is not for pansies" - an unfortunate choice of phrase to say the least, and not really consistent with her attitude elsewhere in the book. Perhaps it has different connotations in the US?

Date: 29 Feb 2012 12:07 (UTC)
mamadar: Kirk pouting in a manner unbefitting a starship captain. (kirk woe)
From: [personal profile] mamadar
I'm not sure "pansies" does have that anti-queer connotation here in the U.S., at least not any more. It might be a regionalism.

Date: 29 Feb 2012 12:38 (UTC)
marginaliana: Buddy the dog carries Bobo the toy (Default)
From: [personal profile] marginaliana
Although "pansies" definitely came from that same anti-queer space, I would say that 99% of the people in the US who would use such a term would not be intending to specifically imply a queerness element. They'd be more likely to just mean "coward." On the other hand, there's definitely a 'flowers are feminine, feminine is bad' thing going on, which is related. Actually, hmm, I'm wondering now if there are any euphemisms for "coward" that aren't gender-related in some way.

Date: 29 Feb 2012 15:45 (UTC)
tree_and_leaf: Isolated tree in leaf, against blue sky. (Default)
From: [personal profile] tree_and_leaf
Gosh. I had no idea.

Date: 29 Feb 2012 21:30 (UTC)
arlie: (Default)
From: [personal profile] arlie
Agreed that "pansy" seems to me to mean something like wimp - not precisely a coward, because they might also shy away from hard work, as well as conflict.

Also a general comment - the more one sees queerness as part of normality, the less resonance one experiences with queer-directed slurs, and the more they are likely to be forgotten, or take on other meanings (often the specific thing that was being misattributed to queers); the same for any other historically denigrated/abused group. This isn't true if one has a political identification with the group, just if one has a matter of fact acceptance.

As an example, growing up in Canada, where issues of race weren't salient, I never noticed that one version of the children's rhyme "eeny meeny miney moe" apparently objectifies blacks, and uses one of the "N" words. "Nigger" got converted to "tiger", because that word at least made sense. On the other hand, if there had been a "frog" involved, I'd probably have taken it as somehow denigrating francophones, even if there was no historical connection - and some of my peers would have used it to mock local francophone kids.

Date: 1 Mar 2012 16:20 (UTC)
arlie: (Default)
From: [personal profile] arlie
The ability to be ignorant of an offensive etymology is a privilege that not everyone can share.

True enough. It's just that, from your description of the author, I think they might have that privilege, to the point of being quite unconscious of the offensive connotations.

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