lizw: Two young women in Victorian underwear exchanging affectionate looks (girlfriends)
[personal profile] lizw
For the past eight years or so, any time it's seemed appropriate to mention my orientation, I've usually said "mostly straight". For those of you who don't know why that "mostly" was there, well, the short version is that I've had two pretty serious relationships with women in the past, and two or three more casual dalliances. I did a fair amount of LGBT activism at uni and for a few years afterwards, including being the first Bisexual Women's Officer in my student union. In many ways, that was my introduction to politics.

Historically, though, the majority of my relationships have always been with men, and I've tended to find women more difficult to relate to as friends, too. I'm not sure I could even tell you why - just something in the way my brain bumps up against all the screwy cultural stuff that surrounds femininity. So at some point, when parenthood and health stuff was making activism virtually impossible anyway and I was finding the bi community a bit less introvert-friendly than I'd have liked, it just became easier to say "mostly straight" and focus on friendships with women, rather than complicating things by allowing myself to think of any of them as possible partners. (If you're reading this and going, "but you're married, aren't you, so you shouldn't have been thinking about that anyway", then the answer is "yes, I am, but it's an open relationship"; but that's not really what I want to talk about in this post. Ask me privately, if you want to.)

I'd like to think I've got better at friendships with women over the years - and my keep fit group has been a big help in that - and the bi community has changed a lot in the intervening years, too. Meanwhile, "mostly straight" has started to feel like a closet, which it was never really meant to be. And various recent bits of news from the Church of England have made me think it's time to get back into LGBT activism, if only for my own sanity and self-respect. So, this is me, coming out again, as bisexual.

Date: 7 Feb 2012 20:24 (UTC)
lovingboth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lovingboth

Date: 7 Feb 2012 21:33 (UTC)
yoyoangel: (bi)
From: [personal profile] yoyoangel
Welcome out!
(All this makes lots of sense to me.)
Edited Date: 7 Feb 2012 21:34 (UTC)

Date: 7 Feb 2012 21:37 (UTC)
barakta: (Default)
From: [personal profile] barakta
Couldn't say words better than these!

Date: 8 Feb 2012 04:02 (UTC)
pj: (Default)
From: [personal profile] pj
Welcome (back) out! May the freedom you feel at doing so only grow with time. ~love~

Date: 8 Feb 2012 07:58 (UTC)
el_staplador: (Default)
From: [personal profile] el_staplador

Date: 8 Feb 2012 12:47 (UTC)
petra: A white woman and a black man in unitards, reaching for the sky (Britta & Troy - Gotta dance)
From: [personal profile] petra
Thank you for this, as one married queer woman to another.

Date: 8 Feb 2012 13:14 (UTC)
ext_51145: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
Congratulations on coming out. Oddly, I thought you already were - possibly just because you're poly and the poly and bi communities overlap so much - but congratulations anyway.

Date: 8 Feb 2012 14:06 (UTC)
djm4: (Default)
From: [personal profile] djm4
Coming out of the ill-defined continuum with ever-shifting boundaries that is identity probably is a continuous process, yes. ;-)

Glad your noodling on this is yielding results.

Date: 8 Feb 2012 18:34 (UTC)
rosefox: Me and Danielle kissing, with "NO H8" stenciled on our cheeks. (queer)
From: [personal profile] rosefox
Mazel tov and welcome back!

Date: 9 Feb 2012 12:32 (UTC)
vampwillow: Bi and SM flags with words "all directions" over (directions)
From: [personal profile] vampwillow
Welcome back to the fight. You've been missed ;-P


Date: 9 Feb 2012 14:54 (UTC)
kake: The word "kake" written in white fixed-font on a black background. (Default)
From: [personal profile] kake
This is a great post, thank you.

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